Saddle Saddle Saddle Club. I LOVE the Saddle Club.

Yes, I truly thank God for the show The Saddle Club. It is a show about three girls who ride horses and the ranch they train at. Anya is enthralled with it which means I have a tool to use for discipline-and it is on every stinkin' night!

Anya says "No, I won't ____(fill in the blank about what she is supposed to do" 

Then I say, "Do you want to watch The Saddle Club tonight? I'll put a check in the box for Saddle Club."

"No, no! I'm sorry!!" She even agreed to clean up the dog poop in the yard instead of missing four nights of The Saddle Club. It's never a good idea to tell me to shut up. She wanted to be paid for the work too. I told her cleaning up poop would help her to remember to not let stinky words come out of her mouth. And in case you were wondering, no, she did not get paid.

After watching the show for the first few weeks, she really got into it. A couple of times after the 30 minutes passed and it was over, she proclaimed, "Noooooooo, that was too short this time!" No, sweetheart, it wasn't any shorter than normal. Anya sings the title and ending song as if she were performing with the three girls on the show.

Now she is really into horses. That is what she told Ded Meroz (Santa) she wanted for Christmas at the Little People Christmas party. Then the Santa at our friends' party gave her a four pack of small horses (with the helpful rule that the parents of the child bring the gift for them). She was delighted!! For our family's Christmas party, my little sis gave Anya her toy horse from when she was a girl and it was given to her by our twin babysitters too! Anya LOVES the thing.

Thanks for the pics Bobby Chezem!!

Anya enjoying the horses from Santa with our friend Lehti (who was, by the way, the only adult on the staircase with all the kids waiting to see Santa! She was so excited to enjoy it all with Anya).

The horse from my sister.

Also, we have been listening to Christmas music in the car. Anya really likes the song Sleigh Ride. There is an instrumental version and we hear it often. The other day, Anya got really upset at the whip sound in the song. "What is that sound? Are they hurting the horses?!" she asked with a horrified look on her face. What a sweet heart she has. 

Wait until she gets her other gifts! And NO, it is not a real horse by the way. Lehti has some we can hang out with.
~Monica

What have I done?!

Isn't this the opposite of every thing Anya was when she came? And slightly capitalistic? It was a fluke shot I took because it just caught my eye as she walked on ahead of me. I took Anya to the mall (which rarely happens) for a shirt for Christmas. I knew I'd get several fights about wearing a dress and knew she'd want to run around with her cousins and friends anyway at all the gatherings-pants are best for that. I didn't see anything she'd agree to that was fancy enough at Target that she'd like, so of to the mall we went.

I took Anya into Macy's and went to the girls' section. "Do you like this? This? What about this?" "No. No. No." After Anya found a toy Dora guitar on the floor and played it over and over and over, I put four shirts on a rack (that I had earlier slipped over her head to see them on) and pulled her over to them. The conversation that ensued was strange at best and there was a woman that pretended she was shopping, but kept circling around to see WHAT was going on. Some of the conversation went like this.

"Anya, come here. COME OVER HERE. Put the guitar down. DOWN I said. Pick a shirt."

"What DON'T you understand Mama. I DON'T like them. I'm not wearing a shirt. They are disgusting."

"Well, you won't wear a dress so you have to pick one."

"I DON'T LIKE them."

"Okay. Which two are the MOST disgusting?" (trying to eliminate two of them) "ANYA! Put the guitar DOWN! No you can't have it, it is $40. No, I will not give you $25 dollars. I said, WHICH...TWO... ARE... THE... MOST... DISGUSTING?!? This one? This one? This one? This one?"

Grumpiness followed.

"I''s sorry, you HAVE to pick one. You ARE wearing one. Which two? (point and point). Good. Now which one of these two is better?" She finally chose one. Obviously, not with any delight.

After I paid and we headed out, I passed Kids' Gap, where a dear friend works. We saw her inside and went in to surprise her. Anya actually wove in and out of clothing racks to scare her. Anya actually liked a pair of boots in the store. Finding a boot for an Achondroplasia dwarf is next to impossible. The length of the foot is very short. The width of the foot is very wide. The leg bones are short but the muscle length is the same as if the bones were long. That means that all the muscles in the legs overflow onto the ankles, knees and wrap around the hip to the butt making it look really large. So, her ankles are hefty and quickly angle out even wider to her knee. So, finding a boot that closes over her calf  is rare and one that isn't so long that it crams into the back of her knee is almost impossible. And that is a 3/4 length boot on an average height girl too. But, this pair fit the bill. I really didn't care how much it cost if she liked it (what, she likes something fashionable?!) and if they fit. Then I asked Anya about a lone coat in the store. She LOVED it. And my friend put a Russian type snow hat on Anya's head and then I heard the "please Mama?" with the sweet begging eyes. Need to remember to keep that girl our of the mall or at least out of the Gap...

I call her my Russian Snow Princess.

~Monica

One whole stinkin' year.

I can't believe Anya has been here for one year. It just amazes me. At times it was going so slowly and I was sure she'd never begin to heal and adjust and that I would surely lose my mind. At other times, it has just flown by. I can really see the difference as we have passed the one year mark and experience events with Anya for the second time. What a difference a year makes!

Last year, we were able to go to Knott's Berry Farm (an amusement park) for free and took Anya for over two hours and stayed for their chicken dinner with Dave's mom and his brother's family. She had only been here about 10 days and was obviously overwhelmed by it all. Knowing this idea could be a nightmare in the making, I paid strong attention to her over stimulation signs and processing inabilities and often took her in my arms off to a corner to sit with her and rock her. She did well, but she was of course stunned by it all. 

Notice the difference...this is her first ride ever.

2010

2011

This year we went to Knott's with the same deal. Wow was I amazed. Anya was at the park from 11-5 and then we ate dinner. She handled it as well as any other kid would. She even went on the roller coasters!! Here is a picture of the one she went on several times.

And she NEVER would have run up to Snoopy with delight last year.

As I think through what Anya tells me now and look at things I wrote down that she has said over the last year, I am astonished. Anya has been telling me, "I love you, you are my mother. You are so precious to me and you are so shiny and lovely." Last March, when she had been here only four months, she told me, "I am bad. I have no mother or father." 

We also have been faced with the fact that our Pug, at almost 8 years old, has cancer and the discs in his back are deteriorating. Anya is handling it very well and lets us know how much she'll miss him. Then she lists off all the fun times and different things she's done with him. But last March as well, while watching Old Yeller, when the dog was shot due to having Rabies (sorry if I spoiled the movie for some of you, but really, aren't you old enough to have seen it by now?), Anya yelled, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO," and landed in a heap on the floor over Chico and wept at the thought of him dying.

I also noted that in March, for the first time Anya started talking about hurtful things that happened to her in her Russian past. And I was reminded that bath time when she was first here lasted from two to six hours and afterwards was a strong time of release for all her stresses. Now, I can tell her to go in and shower and it's as good as done!

For Anya's one year family anniversary we all went out to dinner and she was very honored as the restaurant applauded her anniversary.

The training I received at a conference for raising "Kids from Hard Places" was so full of information. One of the things I learned was that for every year spent in an orphanage, there would be one month needed for full attachment. Twelve years in an orphanage means twelves months for true attachment to occur (if all the other work is done properly). Like clockwork in November, Anya relaxed and just knew that we loved her. It was truly astounding. Here are a couple of photos of us. You can see she is really feeling like a part of our family and isn't as terrified anymore.

I have also seen such a change in my ability to simply care for myself. She has relaxed and can play by herself for quite some time now. I also have been getting sleep and am finally feeling a bit more like my old self.

I am no longer walking around in public with my hands like this...

It's hard to get one photos of both of your hands-I did try, so I know. The chin just doesn't push the button on the camera very well.

Nor my earrings like this... (that one Anya put in and I never noticed until later)

One of the things that really touched Anya's heart was receiving a family heirloom-her Raggedy Ann doll. My father's mother used to make them for every child in the family starting with me, the firstborn grandchild. I received Raggedy Ann for my first birthday and then apparently loved her so much and wore her out so quickly that Grandma made me a made me a Raggedy Andy as well. I am the only prodigy that has two of the dolls. My sisters and cousins got their dolls on their first birthdays. Once I had our first child and he turned one, a package arrived in the mail from Grandma-his Raggedy Andy. 

To tell you the truth, I had forgotten about them, mostly because they were stored up in my closet. Last week, Anya received a package in the mail from my dad's sister. I let her open the gift that was ensconced in Christmas paper as too many gifts at once on Christmas Day is still overwhelming. It was Anya's Raggedy Ann!! I read the card from my aunt and Anya teared up. The only other time I have seen her do that was when watching Anne of Green Gables. The card told An how she is part of the family and everyone who is part of the family gets one of these dolls. Something clicked in her little head. She really understood the truth of it all. I took out my dolls and the boys' dolls and we put them all together for photos. Anya was dancing with hers and then went on to dance with her brother's doll. The part she loves the best is the embroidery on the belly that says "I love you Anya".

She still has so much to learn about life though. I gave Anya some water in this cup. All of my old Christmas glasses had broken, so I picked this one up for her so she could have a Christmas cup memory. Whatever.

ANYWAY, I gave her some water and I noticed her with her hand in the cup. She was trying to get the "stuff" out of her water. She had never seen anything like it. I had to empty it and shake it around to show her that it all really was encapsulated in the cup, not in her water!!

She also has a few more things to learn. I was throwing out half of a really hard, stale bagel. This is what I was told. "In Russia, God gets angry with you if you throw out bread, even if it is hard." There you have it, Theology 101 by Anya.

~Monica

Life just ain't fair (written Dec. 8)

Oh my-one car accident wasn't enough excitement for five days. Last night someone broke into both Dave's and my cars while they were in the driveway. I was taking the car in to be repaired in the morning too. Very unusually, I didn't lock my car. Someone decided to open it and take a few things. My glove box, center console and the back of the car were refiled through. I guess since only some CD's, a key to a client's house (not you Jane!) and a survival backpack with spare food, water and a down jacket were taken, the guy decided to look in Dave's Corolla. Sure enough, his laptop case was in the back. So, the window was smashed and the laptop and several other important items were taken. Yes, he knows not to leave a laptop etc in a car, but now he realizes how crucial it is to stick to those rules.

The police officer was in our home from 6-8 am and luckily, Anya slept through it all.

Later int he day, I saw Anya walking around with our dog Liza (more on that later) and heard her say, "It's okay Liza, we're safe.

We also heard a lot today about the bad guys. But here is the favorite.

"Mom, the bad guys didn't listen to the sign. Papa and I were walking and we saw as sign with this on it (she held her fingers up as an X). No bad buys can come here." I realized that this was what she was talking about.

If only the bad guys would follow the rules...
~Monica

Ded Merozh and the Auto Club

Oh man, just add a raffle, sitting with Santa and a car accident to Anya's holiday learning adventures for the night. We were in a building when our car was hit, so we're all fine, but.....Anya did give the old man who hit us the stink eye as she walked by.

Let's back up. The holiday season is upon us. The Los Angeles chapter of Little People of America (LPA) was having their Christmas party in Culver City, about 40 miles away from us, into Los Angeles. Dave was working so I packed up Anya and headed off to the party. Anya was excited to be able to dance. I think it would be exciting to dance and have people at my head level instead of dancing with your face in everyone's backsides.

I parked out in front of the Elks Lodge and at the last minute decided to hold fast to my frugal side and not pay for parking at the meter. Plus it didn't appear you could get in from the street side. So, I pulled out and headed into the back parking lot. I headed down the alley which had parking on both sides. Just past the alley, it opened into a larger parking lot and there was a row just past the end of the alley. I noticed that the first car in that row was our friends' car. Anya did too and pointed at it excitedly. I actually meant to call them before the party to see if the mother and daughter needed a ride (in case the father was working-he's an actor) since they live so close to us. But, I never did. There was an empty space next to their car, so I took it.

view of alley from lot back to street

Into the party we went. I was pretty proud of Anya's emotional growth. Previously she would melt down being around so many little people. It is very different if you aren't used to it. In fact, I made a bit of a mistake, and luckily the woman involved didn't notice. We were getting ready to get dinner and I told Anya, "Come on, let's get in line." I am really used to her being the only 3 1/2' high person standing around my hip. I started walking and lost her for a moment. I kind of barked out, "Come ON, let's get in line!" only to discover I was basically yelling at a 40 year old woman, not Anya. Whoops. Anyway, Anya was pretty calm and not going into a frightened younger girl state. 


We sat with our friends Art and Dawn and ate dinner. As we finished someone came up to Art and told him his car was hit. I joked to Dawn that if there was damage, I could take them home. As soon as I said that, a lady came near out table and asked who owned the white Lexus. Uh, that would be me.


I asked Dawn, who is legally blind, to watch Anya. Shows how much I was thinking. But I only knew three people there and Art was already outside. I just knew that if I needed to get information and such out in a parking lot, trying to keep an eye on Anya, who would surely be melting down due to the "catastrophe" in her eyes, it wasn't going to be a good situation. So, I told An to stay and went outside. As a side note, I walked out our front door on the way to the party thinking, "Boy it's cold, I should get a coat. No. I am just going from the car to the building and back," I had a similar thought about the cute heels I wore too. 

There it was. An old man and his Honda, t-boned into Art's car which had pushed my car. It looked like he came down the alley and just kept going into the line of parked cars. I just had a dent in the bumper, but our friends' car was considered totaled. Came to find out from a man at the party that was outside when the collision occured, that he turned off the man's car and had to take the old man's foot off of the accelerator. Turns out the man jumped the concrete parking stop and mixed up the gas and brake pedal and kept giving it gas.

The burgundy car is now in my parking spot and I am moved over into a bit of the next one.

Look how close my white car is to the van on the left. There were two men in that van, one changing into a Santa suit for the kids, when the accident occured. But they weren't harmed at all!


After a call to the Auto Club, the police officer arriving and the tow trucks showing up, two hours had passed. I wanted my compact down coat I keep in the car for such purposes, but in a tizzy, couldn't find it. A sweet young woman named Sandy, who also took these photos, offered me her pea coat, but it didn't fit over my other velvet shrug I had on and I wouldn't be any warmer with just her coat. I got a blanket out of the car and had it wrapped around me for some time. At one point, a man from the party came out and put his big wool coat over my shoulders. I just kept trying to remember not to put my keys in his pockets and send him home with them.


Many people came out to talk to us and the other lady I knew a bit, Anel, came out as well. I asked her to watch Anya and apparently, when Anel went to restroom, Anya hightailed it outside to see where her Mama was and what was going on. I did let her come over to me after we had finished the main business and were waiting on the tow truck. She gets all worked up if the dog walks by and brushes her so I knew a car accident was going to be epic and that she would fixate on it. She handled it much better than I expected. I explained all I could think of to her and she walked over to the back of our car and was caressing it. Then she passed by the elderly gentleman and as I mentioned, gave him a long version of what we call the Stink Eye. Anya was moving around the scene trying to help Art too. She even got to shake the officer's hand. Once the tow trucks were finished, we moved back into the party. Didn't I mention that Art is an actor? And that I was FREEZING and my feet were HURTING? Art has a role as basically the Simon Cowell of Spanish TV's variety show Estudio 2 (on Estrella TV network)-he's el Machete. So, he's talking to the tow truck drivers in Spanish and it comes up. They get all excited and keep chattering on (later I turned around and one of them was posing in front of the smashed cars with Art while the other took a picture). I literally said, "I hate to interrupt all this excitement, but I want to go inside and here is my Auto Club card for you to see." They laughed.

Anya "helping" Art, right in the middle of it all.

There I am wrapped in a blanket.

When I sent Anya back in after Santa at one point, I yelled out, "An, go inside and talk to Ded Marozh! (Grandfather Frost or Santa-and this was her first visit with him)" at which point someone asked if I spoke Russian and a short version of Anya's whole story came out. Anel came outside during the wait and told me Anya sat with Santa and that she is an escape artist as well! Anya told me that Santa gave her nail polish. Her response to Santa was, "I DON'T LIKE nail polish." Oh, the things the girl still has to learn...


Once inside the party got better after a buffet that included macaroni and cheese and all the dancing. Anya chose different women to dance with, pulling them out on the floor.

She REALLY feels the music.

We bought some raffle tickets and I never explained how it worked in detail to Anya. We stood in front of the items and put our tickets into the boxes in front of the item. As we approached the Kindle Fire, Anya reached over to take it. I guess she thought that the tickets enabled her to have the items. As the numbers were read, Anya was frustrated that she wasn't getting the items. "But it's mine." For the last item, the man who brought me his coat let Anya shake the box and read out the winning number. For the previous items, other kids read them slowly and softly, but as you know about Anya and PA systems, she doesn't know she has to speak lowly into microphones and such. She announced very loudly, firmly and clearly the numbers. Very cute and very Russian!

Somewhere close to 10pm!

After more dancing and the raffle, I loaded up Anya, Dawn, her daughter and their friend into our car (Art went home with the tow truck) and headed home for some well deserved sleep. 

Still alive the next morning!
~Monica

Slack Lining and Turkey Day

Thanksgiving this year was a red letter day as far as I am concerned. Anya’s temperament is one that doesn’t handle new things well. Once something has already been experienced, she is just fine and mellow about it all. But this last year has been one of ALL new experiences, with all the turbulence that it created. So, a repeat of a holiday Anya had already had with us was something I was looking forward to. It’s funny, we are going to Knott’s Berry Farm amusement park again in a couple of days and I started telling her stories of her 3 hour visit with us last year. It’s like telling your child or niece about a cute thing you remember from when they were little, but our remembrances of Anya that we share with her are only a year old. Her response is usually, “Oh…......yeah…I remember that!” as if it were years ago.

She hadn’t met with Dave’s whole side of the family before, as last year Dave’s brother had an accident in December, so that group didn’t make it to the Christmas celebration and we arrived home with Anya the day they wanted to have Thanksgiving. So, this past weekend, we met at “Gramooshka’s” (Anya’s mushed together word made from Grandma and Babooshka) for Thanksgiving. On the way home, she told me, “Mom (she doesn’t really call me ‘Mama’ anymore-boo hoo), I had a really good day today with my family.” AND she gets to go to Knott’s in two days.

Anya set most of the table for Thanksgiving dinner this year!

I have grown to LOVE that smile and the mischievous eyes that usually are trying to hide a trick that is being planned.

Big brother brought his slack line for the cousins to use.

Anya's turn!

Literally dancing on a skateboard.

Look what she let's me do. The braid stays in all day and keeps most of the shorter hair out of her eyes. Awesome.

(Notice the stool Anya dragged across the yard to be able to get up on the slack line alone? I went over to make sure to catch her when she fell at Matt's request.) Matt took this picture and basically told me, "Mom, you're going to love this photo. It reperesents the past year and what you have done for Anya." Look at her confident independence on the line, yet her secure dependence on her mom, poised right there, almost falling under the weight of it all, ready to catch her when she falls. And who, with the two of them still laughing, will let her do it all again. 

~Monica

 

Anya's Bucket List

I found this list in a pile of things I intended to blog about. 

Updated comments are in blue.

 

3/8/11  Things Anya Wants To Do

(she'd only been here 3 1/2 months at this point)

*Drive (it's "a little bit scary" though)

*Go to a fair~Dave took her to the Ventura County Fair in August to see the animals and the Beach Boys. She called on his phone just before it started to tell me that the real men were going to sing, it wasn't just a CD like she thought.

*Ride a hort’ (horse)~Did that Memorial Day weekend at our friend Lehti's house. Did a blog on that one.

*Shave inside her nose (so she doesn't look like a grandpa)~haven't allowed that yet.

*Not to get her ears pierced~no sign of wavering on that one, she is terrified of the pain involved.

*Not to wear exercise pants~can't imagine that EVER happening, she is so disgusted by the sight of them.

*Not brush her teeth well~she finally does do it well!

*Have a big ponytail~she can put her hair in one by herself!!

*Have an iPhone~yeah, right.

*Grow her hair out~TA DA!!!!!!!!!!!

*Be able to go out front alone~she can and does. She gets the mail at the curb, takes Chico down four houses for a walk and often takes things over to the neighbors.

*Go to the beach~done and done.

* Fish~gotta plan that one. There is always next spring!

My how we've grown in a year!!!!!!! Phew.

~Monica