One whole stinkin' year.

I can't believe Anya has been here for one year. It just amazes me. At times it was going so slowly and I was sure she'd never begin to heal and adjust and that I would surely lose my mind. At other times, it has just flown by. I can really see the difference as we have passed the one year mark and experience events with Anya for the second time. What a difference a year makes!

Last year, we were able to go to Knott's Berry Farm (an amusement park) for free and took Anya for over two hours and stayed for their chicken dinner with Dave's mom and his brother's family. She had only been here about 10 days and was obviously overwhelmed by it all. Knowing this idea could be a nightmare in the making, I paid strong attention to her over stimulation signs and processing inabilities and often took her in my arms off to a corner to sit with her and rock her. She did well, but she was of course stunned by it all. 

Notice the difference...this is her first ride ever.

2010

2011

This year we went to Knott's with the same deal. Wow was I amazed. Anya was at the park from 11-5 and then we ate dinner. She handled it as well as any other kid would. She even went on the roller coasters!! Here is a picture of the one she went on several times.

And she NEVER would have run up to Snoopy with delight last year.

As I think through what Anya tells me now and look at things I wrote down that she has said over the last year, I am astonished. Anya has been telling me, "I love you, you are my mother. You are so precious to me and you are so shiny and lovely." Last March, when she had been here only four months, she told me, "I am bad. I have no mother or father." 

We also have been faced with the fact that our Pug, at almost 8 years old, has cancer and the discs in his back are deteriorating. Anya is handling it very well and lets us know how much she'll miss him. Then she lists off all the fun times and different things she's done with him. But last March as well, while watching Old Yeller, when the dog was shot due to having Rabies (sorry if I spoiled the movie for some of you, but really, aren't you old enough to have seen it by now?), Anya yelled, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO," and landed in a heap on the floor over Chico and wept at the thought of him dying.

I also noted that in March, for the first time Anya started talking about hurtful things that happened to her in her Russian past. And I was reminded that bath time when she was first here lasted from two to six hours and afterwards was a strong time of release for all her stresses. Now, I can tell her to go in and shower and it's as good as done!

For Anya's one year family anniversary we all went out to dinner and she was very honored as the restaurant applauded her anniversary.

The training I received at a conference for raising "Kids from Hard Places" was so full of information. One of the things I learned was that for every year spent in an orphanage, there would be one month needed for full attachment. Twelve years in an orphanage means twelves months for true attachment to occur (if all the other work is done properly). Like clockwork in November, Anya relaxed and just knew that we loved her. It was truly astounding. Here are a couple of photos of us. You can see she is really feeling like a part of our family and isn't as terrified anymore.

I have also seen such a change in my ability to simply care for myself. She has relaxed and can play by herself for quite some time now. I also have been getting sleep and am finally feeling a bit more like my old self.

I am no longer walking around in public with my hands like this...

It's hard to get one photos of both of your hands-I did try, so I know. The chin just doesn't push the button on the camera very well.

Nor my earrings like this... (that one Anya put in and I never noticed until later)

One of the things that really touched Anya's heart was receiving a family heirloom-her Raggedy Ann doll. My father's mother used to make them for every child in the family starting with me, the firstborn grandchild. I received Raggedy Ann for my first birthday and then apparently loved her so much and wore her out so quickly that Grandma made me a made me a Raggedy Andy as well. I am the only prodigy that has two of the dolls. My sisters and cousins got their dolls on their first birthdays. Once I had our first child and he turned one, a package arrived in the mail from Grandma-his Raggedy Andy. 

To tell you the truth, I had forgotten about them, mostly because they were stored up in my closet. Last week, Anya received a package in the mail from my dad's sister. I let her open the gift that was ensconced in Christmas paper as too many gifts at once on Christmas Day is still overwhelming. It was Anya's Raggedy Ann!! I read the card from my aunt and Anya teared up. The only other time I have seen her do that was when watching Anne of Green Gables. The card told An how she is part of the family and everyone who is part of the family gets one of these dolls. Something clicked in her little head. She really understood the truth of it all. I took out my dolls and the boys' dolls and we put them all together for photos. Anya was dancing with hers and then went on to dance with her brother's doll. The part she loves the best is the embroidery on the belly that says "I love you Anya".

She still has so much to learn about life though. I gave Anya some water in this cup. All of my old Christmas glasses had broken, so I picked this one up for her so she could have a Christmas cup memory. Whatever.

ANYWAY, I gave her some water and I noticed her with her hand in the cup. She was trying to get the "stuff" out of her water. She had never seen anything like it. I had to empty it and shake it around to show her that it all really was encapsulated in the cup, not in her water!!

She also has a few more things to learn. I was throwing out half of a really hard, stale bagel. This is what I was told. "In Russia, God gets angry with you if you throw out bread, even if it is hard." There you have it, Theology 101 by Anya.

~Monica